we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
