you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
