One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
