smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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