I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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