We're facebook friends in real life
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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