fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
