The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
