then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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