At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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