That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
