thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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