i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
