Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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