Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
