You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
