If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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