Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize