a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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