you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This toilet bowl is my home.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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