I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
