i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
