i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
