I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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