Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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