just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
