I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
FUCK WHALES
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
