Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
