He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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