whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Define "chronic" masturbator.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
