Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sarcasm needs its own font
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
