The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
