That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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