I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
