We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
