her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
