I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
