i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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