Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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