Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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