He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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