What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
