In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
