You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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