And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you will always have a special place in my vag
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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