I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
