Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
