Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
