Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
