alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
