guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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