the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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