The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
