lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
