what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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