Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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