My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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