shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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