I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
